As I'm beginning this blog, I am drying my eyes. I just read Julie's latest entry about Dax. It just breaks my heart reading about her pain and the loss of Dax. I can not even imagine what she is going through. We take a lot of things for granted as parents, but because of Julie, I have learned to treasure it more. Or as she says...cherish every moment.

Yesterday was a rough day. I had a lot of frustration and emotions and just broke down crying. Thankfully I had a friend here to remind me of things, and to see things for the better. I am now more determined then ever to make 2010 a much better year then 2009. Not only am I still looking for a job, I took the plunge (once again) and applied for financial aid to go back to college. I certainly don't want to live here forever, and want better for my children. I want to be able to buy a new car, and buy a house some day. Unless I go to college and get a degree of some sort, it's not going to happen. Will it be tough...yes. Will it be worth it..definitely!! I am looking at doing online classes to either get my AA in medical management-medical records or billing and coding. Depends on the aid and what college I use.

My thoughts on the ex from last week have been confirmed. He's single again. His girlfriend must have been more of a priority then his son. It took them breaking up for him to see his son, which is sad. Knowing him though, he won't be able to stay single long and will probably once again put his girlfriend(s) before his kids. Oh I could go on and on about some of his issues lol

I've done my cleaning for the day, so now it's time for Days. Toddleloo!

Let there be heat!

And on day 5, there was heat. Yay! I can not believe it took them that long to get us heat again. If I would have had the money I would have stayed at a hotel and billed the complex for it! Before I ran errands I stopped in the office to drop off some papers and said something about the heat and about the fact that I shouldn't have to run my oven and a space heater to keep myself and my kids semi warm. She didn't say sorry or anything. The only thing she said was "You're not allowed to use space heaters" I was dumbfounded. I have NO heat, and here she is telling me I'm not ALLOWED to use a space heater. Pffttt, whatever. I totally used a space heater last night! The head maintenance guy finally came today to address the ice in my bedroom. That only took 3 weeks, and 2 complaints.

Today has been pretty uneventful. Too cold to go out, and expecting a bunch of snow. Just did some cleaning and laundry. Now that Grayson is walking he loves to follow me to the mail/laundry room and flirt with everyone. Then when we come back he gets to the threshold of the apartment and runs back towards the mail/laundry room giggling. He's so silly sometimes, but so darn cute!

Oh what a weekend

I just got the nudge from Michelle. I suppose that means I should blog. Exciting, right?! Yeah, not so much an exciting weekend. The kids and I packed up early Saturday morning and headed to my moms house. The heat decided to quit working that morning. All I have to say is..Brrrrr! We spent the day shopping, but it was more frustrating then anything. The lines were crazy and the cashiers only knew one speed. The speed of snot. By the time we got back to my moms I was glad I had no plans to go out that night. After the kids went to bed I enjoyed the evening playing Wii with my mom. Mario isn't my game. I'll stick to Bop It...I rock it!

Instead of going home Sunday afternoon we went to Joyce and Brian's to have some dinner and play games. Between my moms house and their house, the heat in my car decided not to work. First the house, then the car. Lets not forget the exhaust leak I found today as well ::sigh:: Nickel and dime here, nickel and dime there. Anyways...we ended up staying the night there before coming home this afternoon.

I did at one point think I was going to shed a tear this weekend, but I was strong. I gave Grayson his first all over haircut. I've trimmed it a few times before, but I took Joyce's clippers and gave him an all over haircut. It was kind of sad. I think he lost part of his baby look when I cut it :o(

Upon arriving home I checked the mail, only to find a child support check for a whopping $37. $75 less then normal. Not happy. Oh, and my heat still not working. It's been a fun evening of running a space heater and blasting an oven at 400 degrees while open. But, I did manage to get it to 72 in here..woohoo!! For the apartments offices sake, lets hope the heat is working correctly tomorrow morning. I sure hope tomorrow is nicer to me since I have to run some errands.

I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have my mom and my "adopted" family :o) They're both pretty great!

I have to say, as a blogger, I'm off to a pretty bad start. 2 posts in a year is not what I consider a great blog. It's the first day of a new year, so why not start fresh. Maybe I'll get 3 blogs in this year :o) I'm aiming high!

Grayson is now a year old and absolutely obsessed with Elmo. He's a walking fool these days and talks up a storm. His favorite words are go, get up, Elmo, kitty, cee cee (sissy), mama, hi , hello, yeah, no, yes, no no no, monkey (his monkey blanket) and tee tee (Kristy).

Today was a big day for Grayson, and an emotional one for me. His dad finally decided after 13 months that he wanted to see him. I was dreading the day, but sucked it up. It's not about John or I. It's about Grayson, and what's best for him. It did however go a lot better then I thought it would. We were civil to each other and were actually able to make small talk. I no longer hate him or am bitter, but a part of me is still hurt and I just can't seem to forgive him. I hope some day I will be able to forgive him, but I'll never forget what he did. I was nice and gave him some photos and even had a photo collage made for him. It ranged from the time he was born up until last week. I hope he realizes what he's all missed, and maybe a part of me even hopes he feels guilty about it when he looks at those pictures.

Morgan is now in the 5th grade and doing wonderfully... after being grounded 1/2 of a quarter. She went from 1 B, 2, C's, and 2 D's to 2 A's, 2B's and 1 C. Nothing like a little grounding to get their priorities straight! She's a typical 10 year old. She's 10, but thinks she's going on 15 some days. Some days she's so sweet, and some days we just butt heads. I am so not looking forward to the teenage years..or puberty!

I think that's it for now. My goal for 2010 is to blog more! Happy New Year everyone!

Introducing Grayson

Oh my..I'm certainly not off to a good start with this whole blogging thing. I'm better at the Cafemom, Myspace thing :o)
A lot has happened since my last post on Nov. 8th. Mr. Grayson Wyatt joined Morgan and I on Nov. 19th 2008 at 11:39pm. Just 21 minutes shy of his uncle Jimmy's birthday. He weighed in at 8lbs 7ozs and was 20 1/2 inches long. With a head full of blond hair. He's definitely a handsome little man! I couldn't be happier!
We've certainly had our bumps in the road over the last 8 weeks. The first week we battled with Jaundice levels rising every day for 5 days. We were one level (day) away from having to get a billiblanket, but thankfully his levels went down drastically within the next 2 days. At about 3 weeks he started having diarrhea and projectile vomiting. Turns out he has a mild case of acid reflux. 3 formulas later, we have it figured out. At almost 6 weeks he got pretty sick and the doctor was certain it was RSV so she sent us home with antibiotics, steroids, and breathing treatments. She calls me the following Monday (6 days later) to check on him and then proceeds to tell me he didn't have RSV after all. Needless to say, I was (and still am) mad. Steroids is a big deal, and he most likely didn't need them. I can live with the other 2. The last 2 weeks have went smoothly..knock on wood.
As of tomorrow my little monkey will officially be 2 months old! Time sure does fly. He goes to the doctor on Friday for his 2 month check up and shots. Upon doing some reading and research I have decided to go with Dr. Sears alternative shot schedule. I'm thinking he now weighs around 12lbs or so. At 6 weeks he was 11lbs 4ozs.
As for his milestones, he's doing great! He's been holding his head up like a champ since he was about a week old. He will also use his arms to lift his upper body and head while on his tummy. He's also rolled over a couple of times so far, but only from belly to back. He loves to be sitting up or standing. I have a feeling he'll be sitting up early. He already lunges himself forward all the time, and if I let go of him he'll sit for a few seconds. He also loves looking in his lil mirror, smiling and cooing at himself. What can I say..I am sooo in love with the little guy, and so is his big sister!

Then...

and now...

Welcome to my blog

First of all I want to say welcome to my blog, and thanks for reading! It will definitely be a work in progress since I am new to the whole blogspot thing.

I am a 30 year old single mom, and proud. It's never been my "choice" to be a single mother, but I also know that I don't need a man around to rely on either. Times may get tough once in a while, but it will make me a stronger person in the long run. My children are my life and what I live for. Without them, I would be nothing!

For those of you who don't me personally, here's some background info. I have a 9 1/2 year old daughter whom I have raised on my own since day 1, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Her father has chosen to not be involved in her life, and I have never forced him. It is his loss, and my gain. As for the little monkey (still) growing in me, that's another story. His father and I were engaged until June of this year. My mom,family, and friends thought he was a great guy, and the one for me. Apparently, so did I. Long story short, he started acting weird the end of May, and then just disappeared for 4 days with no word from him whatsoever. After that he decided he just didn't want to do it (the relationship)anymore. He wanted to remain civil for the baby's sake and made me all these promises. Only later to be broken. As soon as he found out it was a boy (he has a son from a previous marriage) there was a long ::sigh:: and all he could mutter out was..."oh....really?" Since then he has had nothing to do with me or this pregnancy, and broken all of his promises. What comes around..goes around.

I've raised one on my own, so I have no doubts in my mind that I can't do it again. I know it won't be an easy journey, but I have my mom and a lot of friends to help me along the way.